So like i had a really weird dream yesterday. It was about you. I was out with my girls, and for some weird reason, i felt as though i was out with them as an excuse to meet up with you cause mum didn't let or something along those lines. Well, i was with the girls and then you rocked up in your car. I don't really remember what happened in between, but i remember you were driving and i was in the back seat, the seat behind the driver. I remember i gave you a massage with my hands over the top of the chair - if that makes any sense - and then you leaned back on your seat and gave me a kiss. It just felt so real. I think you stayed like that for a while and we just sat in silence. You said some stuff to me, but i cant remember what. I just remember i was really happy. Then we ran back through some random arcade or something and i remember we raced down the street cause we could see my mum. She saw my girls and knew that i had ran off. I think she was really angry.

I wish i had the guts to tell you. For the first time, i'm scared you might tell me its too late. You're one of those people who always sit at the back of my mind. We haven't talked in ages, but when we're together, i actually enjoy your company. You're an awesome person, but i think it really is time for me to let go. I was watching The Bachelorette, and like her, i need closure. But, i don't think we're going to be able to have this conversation. I always think, what if .. what if i held on and told him. What if, i wasn't afraid of what the rest of the world thought. What if. I don't have many regrets, but sometimes i feel as though letting go of what we had was one of them.

Most of the time, i'm like "NAH BROO. What the hell are you on about :L Shut up." But honestly, if someone brought this up, i probably wouldn't deny it. I'm at a point where i've realised, i've got nothing to lose. I'm at a point where i have to be honest with myself.

I know that for some of you who are reading, you're like "Yep, i know exactly who she's talking about." But, don't jump to any conclusions please :) It's probably not who you think it is.

There's one person who i'd normally tell this too. But even they have neglected my presence at this current point in time.

I should head off and do some work and get my mind off all this nonsense :L

Look for the girl with a broken smile (8)

Jen

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